I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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