two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
