yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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