I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just pynch a tree in the face
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
