All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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