Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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