I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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