id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize