He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
