He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
