Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You can't special order awesome
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
