According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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