Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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