Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
