so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
