So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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