I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
