New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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