yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Randomize