My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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