Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
