Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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