So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
