Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
