Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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