I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
