nut hugger
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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