just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its not stalking. its research.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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