I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
