you didnt know i had herpes?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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