awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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