What a fucking waste of an outfit
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
