You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
