so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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