Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize