idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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