I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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