he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
