just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The air taste purple.
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