I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
