I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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