id be glad to
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
a search helicopter?!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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