I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
