I want to have your abortion
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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