I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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