I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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