I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
