Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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