apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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