apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
