I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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