The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
