She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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