what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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