just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
