If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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