he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
