They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude i'm inner monologue high
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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