I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize