one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
