There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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