he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I need a beard to bite.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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