can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
