That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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