i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We were destined to go to rehab together
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
