That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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