My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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