hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Fuck appropriateness.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
